As a father and a pastor, I am always asking myself what kind of role model am I? What kind of role model do I want to be? When I was younger I think I always gravitated towards the “cool” counselor or the “hip” youth pastor and then as I got older, I have patterned my own style from that old model. And while that certainly is the “easy” path, is it the one that I should be taking? Paul writes,
Titus 2:1-15 (CEB)
You should talk in a way that is consistent with sound teaching. Tell the older men to be sober, dignified, sensible, and healthy in respect to their faith, love, and patience.
Titus chapter two is Paul’s advocation for teaching sound doctrine, especially in contrast with false teachers. Paul starts this chapter addressing community households and he begins in a hierarchical fashion starting first with old men, then old women, then young men, then slaves….
Paul’s advice to mature men – watch what you say and how you act. What’s interesting is that the word for “consistent” has a primary definition of “to stand out” or are “being conspicuous.” In other words your speech and your manner should be clearly identifiable.
Because, look at the rest of the words; “sober, dignified, sensible and healthy” those are all terms that are talking about clarity. I feel like Paul is saying, your words and actions should be clear and not easily construed to be muddled, dirty, filthy or have a guttural meaning.
And to live a clear and sound life, requires self-control. It means, as a man, not giving into the “easy” joke – or the “easy” opportunity. It means thinking through what you do and say. because let’s face it, nobody likes a dirty old man.
Do I think that is what Paul is saying? Grow up and act your age? Maybe…
Young men tend go for the crude humor, the easy put down, the life that shows no restraint or concern for tomorrow. Not all men, of course, I am generalizing, but Paul says, “look, if you’re an older man – use sound judgment, act intelligibly and show respect in all that you do.”
It’s like allowing your hair to go gray.
…it is?
Yea, I think so… I don’t understand men who dye their hair when they get older. Vanity and youth don’t “look good” on an older man. I mean, what are they trying to hold on to? “When I was younger I had brown hair.” Great… when I was younger I was also an idiot who watched Kids in the Hall.
It’s like Paul is saying, “Look, you’re older – so you should obviously act older.”
I mean, if you want the contrast, look one chapter back – Paul is trying to correct false teachers and he says, “consider those people who are rebellious loudmouths, liars and lazy gluttons.” I don’t mean to stereotype again, but those are the traits of a “young person.”
Paul says in vs 1:16
“They are detestable, disobedient, and disqualified to do anything good.”
So to counter those actions, Paul says to live a life that is mature.
And I might not personally “dye my hair” but I do struggle with trying to “appear youthful.” I’m 43 years old- why on earth do I still care about being “cool” or “in?” I’m married, I have a kid, I have a mortgage and I drive a KIA, who am I really trying to impress?
I am reminded of another teaching that Paul wrote that has a similar message:
1 Corinthians 13:11 (CEB)
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, reason like a child, think like a child. But now that I have become a man, I’ve put an end to childish things.
And certainly today, this is not only advice to older “men,” but anyone who wishes to be thought of as more mature.
The mark of maturity is a clear differentiation – and that’s what Paul is saying. If you are mature, you should talk in a way that is consistent with maturity, you should act in a way that is consistent with maturity.
The only reason I can see wanting to be “cool” would be for people to accept me – to have peers, to be listened to and respected. But the reality is – the young people of the world need sound sober, dignified, sensible, and healthy role models….
There are plenty of cool people in the world.
