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She broke up with me over email….











So last night I got stood up by a client. She broke up with me over email (ha ha) and it simply said that she and her fiancé were going to have a “family friend” marry them instead of me.


And I get it…. this is probably the third time this has happened to me. As the date gets closer, the bride and groom either feel pressured, or the funds start tightening or they just flat out change their mind.  I get it.


But even though this is the third time this has happened, and I should be “used to it” by now, the thing that hurt the most this time was the wedding was only 14 days away…. not to mention that I had already had a sit down with the couple and already begun work in good faith.


I had already put in time, taken time away from my family and spent gas money on this… and now…. the couple just “changed their mind.”


Has this ever happened to you as an officiate?


The irony is, a bride would never do this to anyone else they hired for their wedding. They would never flake on their photographer, their venue or their DJ at the “last minute” and do you know why?


Because then they’d lose their deposit.


Yea…. see, I never required a deposit before.


My fee is so small that it just doesn’t make sense to break it up, plus then I have to remember who has paid me what and I am terrible with keeping track of money.


My brother works in the wedding industry and his fees are WAY larger than mine and he has been telling me… and telling me… and telling me….


“Have your couples pay you a deposit to secure the date.”


And I was tying to be easy.


I was trying to be nice.


And I still want to be going forward… but I will start requiring a deposit and so should you. Just because you’re the pastor doesn’t mean your time is not valuable.


Every minute you work on a wedding is a moment lost from your family and your church and true it’s extra money and that’s nice to have, but if your couple “breaks up with you” that’s income lost.


Money left on the table.


Your work as a wedding officiate is just as important as any other vendor there.


So elevate your status and show your couple that you are just as “official” as all the other parts to the wedding.


Start requiring a deposit to secure the date.


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Posted in Weddings.

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