David Kenney

photo credit: Lomo-Cam

Sometimes when we turn something over we can see something new.

When we try a new approach

When we see things from a different angle

Sometimes to a have a new experience, it means trying a different side

John 21:1-7

Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias (or the sea of gallilee). It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. ”I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, “Friends (or Children), haven’t you any fish?” (notice he asks, expecting a negative answer)
“No,” they answered.

Jesus said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved (John) said to Peter, “It is the Lord!”

This has always been a cool “last sighting of Jesus” story. It’s almost like an afterthought in the book of John, John is telling the Jesus story to you, and right before he finishes he says, “Oh yea, check this out… you gotta hear this..”

But the story is also filled with questions. It’s usually titled “the miraculous catch of fish” but you almost kind of wonder, was that really the miracle? And sometimes when we read this it feels almost like a teaching, or a parable… but it’s not.

□        Why don’t the disciples recognize Jesus?

□        Why does Jesus say to try to the right side of the boat?

□        And if the disciples don’t’ recognize Jesus why do they do what a stranger says?

□        Were there no fish swimming on the left side of the boat?

□        Only the right side?

□        Or were there no fish in the water at all, but when Jesus had the disciples switch sides, did the fish miraculously appear?

□        Or were there fish everywhere swimming like normal (because let’s face it, fish don’t swim only on the left or right side of anything – they are fish, “boat” doesn’t make sense to them) and then because Jesus commanded it, the fish just jumped in?

What kind of story is this?

It has been suggested by some that this is a moment of temporary disobedience in the disciples. That after a long weekend of garden, arrest, trial, flogging, execution, resurrection; the disciples have given up on the gospel and have resorted to their old way of life. As if after three years of walking with Jesus, Peter threw up his hands in disgust and said, “I quit, let’s go back to being fishermen.”

Early scholars blamed these fishermen for returning to their previous profession. One writer says, “The scene is rather one of aimless activity undertaken in desperation”

But I would argue, that you can’t really draw that conclusion from the text, the bible doesn’t say that. The text never says the disciples gave up a life of preaching and following Jesus. Sometimes fishing isn’t a symbol for anything… it’s just fishing.

Can’t a brother just want to fish?

Have you ever had such a crazy string of events, that you just have to do something relaxing, something familiar? Something normal for a change? Watch tv? Eat some ice cream, drive to the mall and look at shoes (so I’ve heard).

The disciples had a crazy weekend, filled with terror and tears – who blames them for wanting to go fishing?

Also notice the record of names – we have 7 men listed– had you ever thought about the fact that 7 of the disciples were fisherman? Why did Jesus call so many people from this one profession?

So we have these 7 men, they go out late at night and catch nothing all night long, something a professional fisherman would not want to admit so readily the next morning, and a stranger doth approaches and he says, “caught anything?”

“Nope.”

“Try the other side of the boat.”

Which to us sounds like a completely absurd request. Especially to a modern-day fisherman. Why would “side of boat” make any difference? A real fisherman would laugh at you for suggesting such a thing. Don’t you hate it when you have tried something over and over again and someone just strolls up and suggests the dumbest thing…

“Well did you plug it in?”

Yes…

But the suggestion to try the right side has some implications we’re not picking up on. The first is cultural…

It’s been thought  by some Greeks that the right side of the boat was the “lucky side” and that tying that side of the boat is like superstitious activity of wearing your lucky socks to a football game, or trying a particular “lucky pattern” at a slot machine, so a stranger yelling at you from shore, “try the lucky side” would not have been a strange thing to say.

The second is language…

The Greek word for – Right hand side is dexios meros. Dexios means “right” or “right hand” and is often used as a place of authority. We see this in verses like ..

Matthew 25:34

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.

And the book of Hebrews often talks of Jesus sitting at the right hand of God.

The 7 fisherman try it, they are successful and the bible says in verse

^v9 When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread (fish and bread? Who could it be?). ¹⁰ Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” ¹¹ So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn.

So the miraculous catch is 153 fish. To me that doesn’t sound like a lot, I don’t know. Maybe if they were huge fish, I guess that would be cool. But 153 doesn’t sound like a thousand! Also 153 doesn’t sound “made up” either. I think a fisherman trying to embellish the tale would have made it sound more unrealistic.

But theologians will still try to find out what the number means, 153 must be significant. One ancient bible translator thought that perhaps there were only 153 types of fish that existed in the entire Sea of Galilee and therefore it was a symbol of reaching every tribe and nation in the world. (that sounds nice)

That’s kind of cool, but probably John mentioned the number as a matter of simple fact. With a group of men fishing, the common procedure would be for them to “one for me and one for you” count the fish they caught and then divide them equally to take to market.

Let me tell you what sparked this idea in me. I was reading my son a bedtime story and this is one of the chapters in his children’s bible that he likes. And as I was reading this to him and coming to the end… the ending picture hit me like a ton of bricks and I said out loud… “the gentles.” This is the gentiles. It makes the most sense. Let me show you turn back to…

Mark 1:16-18

As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee (same place), he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ”Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of people.” At once they left their nets and followed him.

We see Jesus calling the disciples (and us) to be “fishers of  people.” (not fishers of men, the Greek word here is “antropos” meaning people, it’s the same place we get the word “anthropology” which is the study of humanity.

And this phrase “fishers of people” was not invented by Jesus; it had been used for years by Greek and Roman teachers. To be a “fisher of people” in that day meant to seek and to persuade others and to “catch” them with the truth. It was a philosophical phrase.

So certainly we can look at the miraculous catch of fish as being something “other” than a miracle story… it can also be a tie to this original call to be fishers of people. Jesus isn’t just giving them some fish and some income… he is reminding them of this very first calling.

“Come and I will make you fishers of people.”

It’s a miracle and it’s a teaching. It’s a miracle parable.

□        it’s a mirable

□        It’s a paracle.

Jesus calls them to be fishers of people, and for three years they begin a ministry not to the Jewish people, not in synagogues, but in the back alleys, the wells, the weddings and parties of the average person. Jesus’ “good news” was to save all anthropos – all of humanity.

A traditional fisherman tries to catch live fish and kill them to consume them. Fishing is about fooling the victims (fish) into thinking you have something to offer, but in reality it’s a lie… it’s a trick and the punch line is they’re dead.

But a “fisher of people” does things backwards. It’s a totally flipped around approach.

Christians seek to catch “dead fish” (people who are dead in their sins) a world caught in a rut, people tried and tired of their existence, who are looking for something new and untested, and spiritual, something wholly other….

And when they are caught in the grace of Christ, that’s when birth begins and they are truly made alive!

So here we have the fisherman and they are trying the things that they have always tried. In the same way, done the same way – and there is nothing – nobody to be caught.

The traditional, the “been there done that” is coming up with diddly squat.

It’s time to try new, it’s time to fish in a different part of the sea, it’s time to look to the “other side” because apparently, according to Jesus THAT is where the fish are.

Jesus comes along and says, try the “other side” – try the “right side” – the side of authority, the kingdom side – try things my way – try the Jesus approach… and see what happens?

153 fish.

There are fish out there.

There are people out there who can be lured in by truth, who are willing to be captured  by grace,  but who may not respond to the typical tried and true, normal, left handed,  approaches.

Are we preaching now?

Jesus called the disciples to be fishers of all people, and the early church began to flourish with the gentiles and those who had previously been on the outside. So perhaps when we look at this story and we see the net cast on the normal familiar side… nobody is biting, there are no fish there…. Either they have all been caught or they are not open to the story, and when we look at our churches and they seem to be neither growing nor shrinking, neither hot nor cold, we should be asking, well is it time to now throw the net onto the other side?

And what is the “other side” for us? And who are the people who live there? If the left side of the boat is familiar, then I would argue that trying the right side would be a place of questions and doubts and perhaps fear. It’s unexplored and it might be difficult to try.

You know when Peter says, “it is the lord” in verse 7, he says so not because he recognizes the Jesus, but because he recognizes the miracle.

Turn with me over to Luke 5:1-7

One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret (still another name for the Sea of Galilee), with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon (Peter), and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.

So we have this miraculous story at the beginning and the John account at the end.  But here he doesn’t say “try the right side,” Jesus says “put out into deep water.”

“Deep” here is the Greek word bathos

It does mean “deep” as in of the sea, but it is also used as a metaphor in the Greek language to talk about the deep things of God. Isn’t that cool? Next time say to your friends, “Come let us talk about the bathos of God!”

To think of the vastness of God like the deepest darkest parts of the ocean.

In a presidential study in 2000, it was cited that 95% of the world’s oceans are unexplored. Meaning there is much in the deep that we are unaware of, have no knowledge of, and have never even seen.

How does Christ suggest that we catch fish? By trying his approach. By starting on the Jesus side of things, the righteous side, the side of authority, we find fish in the deep, in the areas that might seem unreachable and unknowable. In the darkness, in the shadows…

One British social reformer says it like this: “The Promised Land always lies on the other side of a Wilderness.”

And I would argue that Christ is calling us there; out into the wilderness.

And isn’t there a deeper thing going on this story? Isn’t it really about perception? Christ is calling his disciples to a new way of seeing things.

Maybe you have always seen and done things that same way. Always cooked meatloaf the same way (terrible), always drive to work the same way, always write with the same hand, always sleep on the same side of the bed, “Well we always do – two songs, announcements, offering, sermon, four songs.”

But Jesus comes along and says, “how about you try crossing the road to the other side, do the thing that is unexpected, the thing that breaks the status quo. How about you hold the church picnic… at a park instead of the church lawn, how about instead of leaving a bible track for your waitress you leave actual money…”

Because a watching world is expecting us to do the things that we have always done. Are we presenting anything that they haven’t seen? And is it because our perception is…. Well there just aren’t any fish out there?

We’ve tried it our way and come up empty…but Christ reminds us that there is a deep deep ocean out there, a place where he is, a place that is full and heavy laden with people willing to hear the truth.

Or perhaps the deeper thing beyond perception is as simple as faith – when we commit to the tried and true, when we stand where it is safe and familiar. We stand on the side we have always stood on, we wear the same tie every Monday, we cook the same thing every Friday…

But God works on the side of the impossible, in the unseen places and it just takes our faith to cast our nets over to the other side and try things a different way.. to try things his way.

How do we show the world the bathos of God?

How do we look to the other side?

How do we visit the “right side” where Christ calls us?

Because I would argue THAT is what a watching world is waiting for. Is it weird to think that the fish were always there, but they were just waiting and hoping the disciples would notice them on the right side of the boat and to try something new?

Don’t you think that is what a modern world wants?

I think for so long we have thought our enemy was science or rationalism and we try to prove our faith to others. We try to show evidence for or against natural selection, we try to find proof in the pages of history and we seem to fall short of being able to prove God exists to an intellectual world.

Christ says, ‘throw your nets onto the other side.’

We don’t need to prove to them God made the world, or show them through facts and science that Jesus is lord. Science is the side that they know.

Show the world the Holy Spirit. Show them the power of God and the strength of God in your own life. Tell your stories about how you have seen God work with absolutely no rational explanation at all.

What God sounds more real anyway? The God you can prove with facts, or the God you shrug your shoulders at and say, “you know what, I have no idea.”

I think for so long our enemy as been evil. We try to rid the world of the devil, and darkness and we are so quick to pick up the sword and shield and we run off on our own holy crusade. But the true victor over darkness is a prince of peace – when was the last time we showed the world grace? Because I would argue the world has seen war, and violence and oppression and rule and government. But when was the last time it saw a Kingdom? But how often has the world seen forgiveness? What are the greatest examples of grace?

I think for so long our enemy has been immorality; and we tried to indoctrinate the whole world with our right morals and right living. But we don’t need to impose our faith on the world through protest and restriction. Convicting sinners of sin, before they can even admit there is a God is a loosing battle. Making the world snap to our way of doing things. I think Hate and boycotting is the side the world already knows.

Isn’t it time we showed the other side?

A church in New Castle Ohio has been picketing a local strip club for four years. They carry signs out front, try to keep the patrons from visiting by taking pictures of those who go inside and posting their license plates on the internet. And a month or so ago the owner and the girls got fed up and decided to turn the tables and picket the church. The girls wore bikini tops and had a barbeque and they sat out on lawn chairs and held up their own signs.

One girls sign read, “”If Pastor Bill is my ticket to heaven; I’d rather be in hell with my friends,”

The pastor responded by saying, “As a Christian community, we cannot share territory with the devil,” and he said. “Light and darkness cannot exist together, so the strip club has got to go.”

It sounds familiar. Its sounds like a story from any year, in any time in my life and it’s been tried and tried….And I am not going to criticize the church here or say they are haters, you don’t do something for 4 years because you hate it. I have read several versions of the story where people from this church have offered the girls help and support if they would just leave this lifestyle.

But sometimes as an outsider, it’s not as simple as strolling up and suggesting, “did you plug it in?” Lives can be messier and more involved than offering to mow someone’s lawn, or to pay for a few nights of babysitting.

So while it might be true that this church loves these girls and truly wanted to reach them and to put an end to this lifestyle; I would argue that Christians holding picket signs is a “side” the world has seen before.

One blogger tried to offer an “other side” approach he said, “how about everyone go to Applebees, order some potato skins, and work things out.”

Simple – delicious – I like it.

But it was actually a San Diego based ministry called JC’s Girls that ministers to women in the adult entertainment industry who got wind of this story and they flew out to Ohio to try an other side approach.

Two girls, Anny Donewald and Sheri Brown who are part of JC Girls first went to the strip club and spoke – and after that fist meeting 2 girls gave their lives to Christ.

Then the JC girls went to the church and spoke at the church. “It’s not our job to tell these women that it’s time to get out of there,” one speaker said during the sermon. “Just love them. (and) Let the Holy Spirit draw them out.”

And during the service, one by one, women from the church began filing into the street, hugging the strippers and apologizing to them, leaving both sides overflowing with emotion and tears.

“The girls who spoke to us really had an impact,” one church member said. “They made me realize I needed to be more compassionate.”

Pastor Bill was one of the last people out of the church. He went straight to a striper named Laura who was yelling at him, and crying through tears, “You think I’m a whore, I’m not. I’m just trying to take care of my kids.”

Pastor Bill offered his arms in a hug and Laura accepted.

This is what the other side of Jesus, the other side of grace, the other side of mercy, the other side of forgiveness and brokenness looks like. This is Pastor Bill, Anny and Sheri and then the Stip Club owner.

2 women from San Diego did in a weekend, what a Church community could not do in 4 years. How long do you hang your nets on the wrong side and shrug your shoulders?

I don’t care what you think, these 2 women are missionaries.

And they don’t fit the stereotypical picture of what a missionary looks or acts like, but our ocean needs more Anny and Sherry’s.

I think the side Jesus wants us to fish on is a side that asks us to hold people, and not signs.

I think someone should have tried the right side of the boat 4 years ago.

A third party from San Diego wasn’t tried.

Going into the strip club and talking to the girls on their own turf wasn’t tried.

An approach by someone other than a pastor in a pressed and collared shirt wasn’t tried.

The other side was tried and what were the results?

Salvation, forgiveness… And maybe… one day… 153 fish.

You see, the world expects us to meet in buildings.

They expect us to dress like Quakers

They expect us to start sentences with “well the bible says,”

They expect us to love babies, hate gays, send money to Africa, vote for republicans, have 2.3 children and listen to Jeremy Camp.

That’s the side that’s always tried.

But casting our nets to the other side teaches us that our fruitless labor is transformed by the presence of Jesus.

Our own efforts, our own style, our comfort zone, might be safe, and it might be familiar, but is it working? Or is Christ calling out to you from the shore?

On the right side there is fullness, victory, success fulfillment, peace, hope and abundance.
Because on the right side there is JESUS!

I love what Peter did. When the nets were full and about to break… He recognized that it was Jesus; and what did he do?

With no hesitation, no stopping, no blueprints or plans, no thinking… HE WENT OUT TO JESUS.
Forget the nets. Forget the fish. Forget the water.

Only one thing matters at this point… BEING WITH JESUS!

When Peter looked on that shore he no longer saw a stranger … he saw hope, he saw joy, he saw purpose, he saw meaning, he saw life, he saw truth!

And nothing on earth was going to stop him

I love what this writer says….

“Some people spend their entire lives reading but never get beyond reading the words on the page, they don’t understand that the words are merely stepping stones placed across a fast-flowing river, and the reason they’re there is so that we can reach the farther shore, it’s the other side that matters.” ~ Jose Saramago

People who fly to Ohio just to talk to stripers understand that Jesus matters

Peter didn’t abandon Jesus in a temporary moment of relaxation… he knew what matters.

Jesus matters.

[You can read more about the Ohio story -here]

photo credit: a4gpa

- The Other Side -

Someone tells you a story and you think you have all the facts, but then someone else with a raised hand says, “now, let me tell you the other side” and a whole new picture begins to form in your head.

Jesus comes along and says, “try the other side” – “try the right side” – the side of authority, try things my way – try the Jesus approach… and what happens?

Perhaps the traditional and the “been there done that” is coming up with diddly squat and you look around and wonder – well what would happen if we sailed off to deeper waters? What would happen if we tried things just a bit differently?

I think then we begin to dwell in the places that are holy and new and maybe the places and faces are unfamiliar and frightening, but the reward is… well.. unimaginable.

This is what I want to explore this Sunday…

Yes,  it’s true – some pastor was crazy enough to relinquish his pulpit to me and I will be preaching Sunday the 5th at 7pm at the Ethos service at Neighborhood Christian Fellowship in Covina California. (directions and address at the web site). You can also RSVP on the facebook page.

Please retweet this and repost this as much as possible, I would love to pack the place out with new and exciting faces, and if you are a reader of this blog, I would certainly love to meet you. Even if you can’t make it, I would love it if you could help me promote it.   Of course it will be recorded and I will post the sermon here after the 5th, but I would love to see everyone there.

Thank you

p.s. we need a drummer

photo credit: Big Richard C

So you know how you pray that God can use you at your job? That maybe one day you might be able to share your faith with a friend or colleague? Yea, we’ve all prayed that prayer.

So anyways, walking out to the parking garage, what does this girl want to talk to me about?

Ghosts.

Yes, ghosts. She believes in them – actually she believes there are a few ghosts AT OUR WORK; ghosts that “haunt” key places at my job – and she was serious. So, I mean, I listened, I talked to her, I asked her questions…

“Why do you think there are ghosts in the world?” I ask.

“They stick around because they have unfinished business,” she says.

“So anyone with unfinished business becomes a ghost? I guess we’re all doomed to become ghosts then, because nobody dies when they plan. It’s not like I can know when I am going to die, and quickly tie up loose ends before it happens.”

“That’s why I do my best to not have drama with anyone, and I tell people that I love them.” she says.

Good come back.

“But isn’t that always the thing you hear from mediums,” I ask. “Those people channel the dead and the toubled soul never talks about unfinished business, they always say they are in a ‘better place’ and they ‘love everyone.’ The ghosts never – ever say, I hate it here and I hate all of you.”

“I don’t believe in psychics.” She shakes her head.

“You don’t believe in psychics, but you believe in ghosts?” Now I am shaking my head. “What about Whoopie?” I laugh.

She laughs too. “Whoa, that’s weird,” she stops short. “Patrick Swayze is a real ghost now.”

…. and scene.

I guess in my mind, I could not believe that a college educated, bright person believed in ghosts; or that she was living her life in a way so that she would have a peaceful spirit when she died, so that she didn’t ‘become a ghost.’ But as I finished walking back to my car, I wondered…

Well, how much different do I look to people who don’t believe in “god?”

Could’t you say the same thing about me? Technically, I am a bright, “college educated” person, and I believe in an afterlife and “life beyond the grave.” And to a point, maybe I also believe Patrick Swayze is… a spirit of sorts…

But my point is, how more foolish do I as a Christian look to an unbelieving world? Maybe the moment I share my faith with someone, I will be just as fearful the person on the other side of the conversation will be thinking… “wow, he believes in God? What a wacko. That’s just a childhood fairytale.”

Of course, I didn’t do that to the girl I was talking to, we just talked and walked, I never once said that I “didn’t” believe in ghosts or psychics; and I certainly didn’t cast aspersions on her beliefs.  And maybe you’re thinking that I missed my opportunity to talk to my friend about what I believed.   We were laughing and having a good conversation, I just didn’t feel it was the time to bust out the four spiritual laws. But I guess at that moment, I thought it was better just to listen, to take some time and realize that the rest of the world doesn’t live in the bubble that I live in.

Since I have been at my new job I have

• overheard 2 guys on the bus talk about Norse mythology..
• One girl talk to me about apocalyptic style movies..
• A disgruntled Catholic tell me that she is a “good person” and that’s why she doesn’t go to church.
• And another disgruntled Catholic tell me that his Pastor Uncle wants to offer him “first communion” before he dies.

So I am beginning to see that even though there may only be “one answer” for a broken unbelieving world… there certainly seems to be more than one way to introduce Him.

You can’t just segue with, “You know I also believe in a man who came back from the dead, and his friends thought he was a ghost...” Conversations like that sound so forced and motive-driven.  So what is so wrong with just listening and laughing and walking along? Is it bad that I didn’t just seize that moment and begin with “two thousand years ago, in the tiny city of Bethlehem..?”

Don’t misunderstand though, I still hope that I planted a seed there, but perhaps a different seed than you might expect. Maybe instead of being the “Christian guy” who wants to convert her for badges on his Jesus belt* maybe she will instead remember me as the “funny guy” or the “guy who listened to her talk about ghosts.” And maybe that’s a weird thing to want to be, I don’t know.  Maybe I’d rather build a trust with her first, a real friendship that has some depth to it, so that the day I do share my faith with her – there is a solid ground to stand on.

You know.. these unbelievers.. they walk among us. They are everywhere and no two of them have the same story, the same past, the same beliefs or the same history with religion. So I don’t believe one cookie-cutter bible track disguised like a dollar bill is going to be the “fix” for what ails ya.

Before I go and get all Jesus-y on you, I’m going to listen to your ghost stories.

* I currently do not own a badge-laden Jesus belt.

photo credit: Frank Reyes

Today I have a guest writer for my blog… my wife. She head this “brain drop” on paper and she had me read it this morning. It’s basically a stream of consciousness of a lot of her thoughts and feelings these past months and it’s I’m sure very personal – but she is the other half of me – and her struggles are my struggles, so here it is…

Tomorrow is 6 months to the day that I ended my ministry position at our last church.  It has simultaneously gone at lightening speed and a snail’s pace.  I feel like it was just last week that I was preaching, saying good-bye and packing up my house to put into storage, and also it seems like so long ago.

So now a week after my 35^th birthday I think to myself.  What was I like 6 months ago? Have I changed in this blink of a eye?  Well yes, many things have changed…and yet when I really think about what has changed…it seems like nothing has really changed that matters.  And isn’t that what we did this whole adventure for?  Change that matters.  Well who should it matter to?  I didn’t have a bad life 6 months or even a year ago.  I don’t think I could have imagined that I would be here; sleeping on an aero bed in my mom’s den with my husband and 2 year old son only 2 feet away.

I didn’t think that I could do without all of the “things” that made my life so enriched.  And really when I was packing up that house, I certainly made decisions about what to pack and what to bring.  I was thinking in the short term.  I was hoping that we would be here for only 3 months or so.  I would have wished that we would have hosted our own Fourth of July party for a new congregation…in a new home.

I didn’t wish for D-land work schedules, Rubbermaid tubs and no leads.  I packed my sports bra!  I thought I would have time to exercise and finally be thin and fit.  I thought that I would cleanse my body and my mind of the “whatever” that was the change.  I thought the transition would be over quickly and now it feels like this in a band aid—that isn’t being pulled off quickly.  Instead it’s slowly being peeled back and that there will be a residue of gook stuck on me.  So in the midst of this….I examine my life.  How am I different?  Are those changes really good?

1. I have a new phone
2. I play Foursquare on that phone
3. it doesn’t ring as often
4. That makes me evaluate how many of the phone calls I used to receive were actually from people who cared.
5. I used to ask people for things
6. I don’t HAVE to go anywhere
7. My bank account is much slower
8. I enjoy cooking dinner
9. I love my mom’s kitchen
10. I read blogs
11. My life is informed by new people as a result, I have learned so much.
12. I have made really good food
13. I have made really good ice cream
14. I don’t follow recipes, even if I have time.
15. I make up recipes.
16. I made up my own pattern for pajama pants.
17. I want to re-fashion a T-shirt
18. I’m wearing a smaller size jeans.
19. I tell way less people what to do on a regular basis.
20. I share a bathroom with David
21. I wish I didn’t pack my cricut machine
22. I don’t know what I would have done with it…but it would have been fun
23. I thought I would become a graphic design master…and I not getting better at it.
24. I like yoga, but I don’t have the drive to do it on my own
25. Yet I think I will do a yoga class as whatever church we land at.  How hypocritical?
26. My eye was twitching from stress and caffeine, but now I wear glasses as a precaution.  I can’t tell if they help.
27. Even though I have no place to be and no real constraints on my time, I still can’t spend time with the friends I want to.
28. I understand how difficult it is to find a church.
29. I have changed my perception of where I want to live, I’m not as picky
30. I am still anxious about arriving somewhere
31. I don’t read my Bible more.
32. I listen to Frank the Podcast
33. I dream about vacations to take
34. I am aware of life more.
35. I notice plants and flowers
36. I love the farmer’s market
37. I have a desire to grow things
38. I want to design more when we have our own place
39. I would start a business
40. I am more debt free—only student loans.

What would you say?  Can you see a difference in me?  Does it matter what you think?  Do I only care about the changes that God sees?  Or is that the opposite of what really matters?  God loves me unconditionally no matter what I do.  His love for me isn’t based on how much I read the Bible or whether or not I’ve fasted successfully.  Those are expectations that I have put on myself.  Those are expectations that the world has put on me.  And I am a horrible example of Christ if you don’t see something redeeming in me.  How is it that I can “Be” Christ to others… AND….be the recipient of Grace and Mercy from Christ that other see?  Christ was the giver….yet he also received from the Father.  I want to be WITH God.  I want to be the same as I was…and that I am…and new all at the same time.  I want to keep the best of all I have been and am and will be, but in a new place.

I want to enjoy this time and I don’t know if I am.  I enjoy the walks to the Post Office and the ritual of walking regularly.  It makes me feel like a NYer.  I don’t want this to be stick band-aid gook.  Why is the band-aid on for so long?  Is there something that I’m learning in this time that I need for the next stage?  Will the next step be so busy and crowded with life and people that I will long for this quiet lonely time?  Will I be cold and freezing?  Will I be cramped and in a junky kitchen?  No matter.

• When our time started I was measuring the length in the boxes of diapers that we bought.  I’ve lost count
• Perhaps it was going to be the orchids blooming and dying.  There is only one left.
• Is it a number that we are waiting for…. Like $8000 in savings? Or for me to lose 20 lbs?
• Is it so that my mom can have time to spend with us before we go far away?
• Is God letting me see the Jacaranda trees and swim in the ocean and have one more summer before I leave?
• Is it none of those things?
• Does GOD really have a place that he has chosen for us?
• Does it work like that?
• Is it bad that I question and doubt these things?
• When will this end?
• If I ask these questions and finally release all the anxieties will it all just fall into place?

Like when I was waiting to get married and fall in love.  Is it like that, when I finally met David and our relationship happened, it just progressed…and yet it was too good to be true and like it wasn’t really happening all at once.  We waited for so long to meet each other, because we weren’t “ready”…but then when we did it was good.  Is that what’s happening; are we waiting because a church isn’t ready?

Can you hurry it up God?

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photo credit: pink_fish13

So during this whole adventure I have been wrestling with a very real question. Can I call myself a pastor when I technically don’t have a church? I quickly jump to the thought that it’s like calling yourself a shepherd when you don’t have any sheep. I guess if you were looking for work and hanging out at the local shepherd bar (or do shepherd’s hang out at pubs?) I guess I could hear one of them say, “I am a shepherd by trade; like my Pappy and his Pappy before him,” but who says “by trade” anymore? (or pappy?) I love old vernaculars as much as the next guy, but I don’t fancy I will  be saying “by trade” after I say “I am a pastor.”

I know there are a handful of people who still think of me as their pastor, but is that like being a chameleon? I am only a pastor when I am around them, and then the rest of the time I am just me?

It’s true I graduated from seminary and it’s true I was ordained by my denomination, but technically neither of those two things makes me a pastor. One gave me a master’s degree – which would be cool if once you got a “Master’s degree” people would call you “Master” much like when people get a doctorate they can get called “Doctor” (that made me think of a Seinfeld episode) I think more people would pursue this degree if it could become your nome de plume.

The other gave me the title “Reverend,” which I assume is some take on the word revered; like to adore or to venerate. Which is doubly weird, because I don’t consider myself someone who should be adored. It’s even further odd that my denomination bequeathed on me a title originally made famous by the Roman Catholic Church. “Reverend” is one of those sacred Latin words “technically” only made untouchable because it’s Latin.

Going back to the word “Pastor…” This word in the Greek really does come from the word meaning shepherd. If you think about it hard enough, “Pastor” sounds like Pasture and should make you think of fields of flowing grass and not Louis Pasteur.

Ephesians 4:11 is the only time the word is translated as our English word pastor: It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers. (NIV)

In fact, one could make the argument that nobody other that Jesus is ever given an actual “title” in scripture.  Thomas is not called “Thomas the doubter” and Mary isn’t called “Virgin Mary.” And before you turn in your bibles, no -Paul isn’t called “Apostle Paul” either. Paul is an apostle, like saying John is a lumberjack, but nobody says, “Oh that is lumberjack John.” When we talk like that it’s like we live in a children’s book where everyone is called by their job title.

So calling myself a “reverend” seems right out as it feels to me like only a word we would use to describe our Lord. I am not a person to be revered or worshiped or…. what was that other word? Oh yea, venerated. Don’t venerate me.

So that goes back to what I can call myself? Should I not even worry about it? Should I just say, “I used to be a pastor?” But then that sounds like it opens up a pile of questions itself? Oooh what happened? Well, nothing “happened” I’m just not with a church right now.

That’s why I love clerical collars, you kind of look like Neo and nobody asks you what you do for a living, they just know by your cervic adornments.

The reason I bring this up is that I sometimes still get asked at work, “so what did you do before this?” It’s like being what you used to be in a former life I guess. Life before Disney. So I usually just say, “I’m an ordained minister.” I know it sounds kinda catholic, but I think it’s more accurate than saying I am a pastor.

First by saying “ordained” we get past the squishy odd “reverend” word, but still indicate that my title is official. I didn’t get my title off the internet or on the back of a box of mini wheats.

Second by saying I am a “minister” it implies that I am in the ministry or that I minister to others. See whereas  ”Pastor” implies I currently have a flock, “minister” simply means that I serve others. And I like the word “minister,” I always have. In fact, I think everyone in the church is a minister (or at least should be). And minister is more of a noun than a title. “Minister David” doesn’t roll off the tongue like “Pastor Dave” does. (Oh that’s another conversation. I have a friend who believes all Pastor’s should have single syllable names, so once the title goes on you need to shorten your name to Steve or Bob or Lance).

At one time I was thinking it would be fun and creative to make up my own titles for all of the jobs in a church. That way when visitors went to your church website they’d see that instead of having a sound technician, your church has a “Manager of targeted Media Empowerment;” and instead of a youth pastor your church had a “Deputy strategist in charge of teenage paradigms.” But now I think those titles wouldn’t fit on a business card very well.

Perhaps titles are better left to when they are given by others.  My wife would call me her husband, but I don’t introduce myself to others as “Joanna’s husband,” nor would I introduce myself as someone’s “best friend.” So until a church decides to call me the pastor, I think I will stick with “minister” … either that or “Apostle of untargeted faith based networking.”

What do you think?

photo credit: bradleygee

My schedule so far at D-land has been really strange. It seems right after they finished training me for my area, got me all signed off and “official;”  they move me to other parts of the park. Tonight and tomorrow I have two all night shifts working the dance floor for a local hip hop radio station – and then for four or five days after that I am working various routes as crowd control for fireworks and water shows. Each time they move me it requires a different uniform and a random schedule.

What is funny is that the girl who was hired and trained with me continues to get nice steady hours.  She works these nice mid 8 hour shifts and I am sure she is making almost $100 more than me a week. What is weirder is, I don’t know why I care, or why I am so jealous? I mean, this isn’t a career path for me, I just wanted the diversion, the extra money and the chance to say, “I did this.” But now that I am in the thick of it, I want to be more and more apart of it.

I think it has to do with acceptance and feeling appreciated.

More hours equals “we like you” I guess.

It’s the same way in the break room. I work with a lot of nineteen year old girls and the “hip” thing to do seems to be gossip. Who is dating who? Who is a terrible worker? Who is mean? Who is cute? And again… I don’t want to be that involved or that entrenched in this job, but the desire to be included, and spoken to is so high that the temptation is there to talk behind people’s backs.

So for a job that I wanted to be somewhat removed from – I have these feelings of wanting to belong and to be accepted and to be “in” on both a corporate and a personal level; and I wasn’t expecting that.

It’s human nature to want to be in community, I guess.

Take church for instance. My wife and I have been church hopping since “the great divorce” and recently after twenty or so churches, I am calling an end to it. I am tired of it, I want to start fitting in somewhere, and being able to put my son in a nursery where they all know him.

I am taking our family flag out and planting it in the ground.

I want to know some of the parents, I want to go to church events again, I want to take communion with people I love and care about, and more importantly… I want to finish a sermon series all the way through!

You can’t do any of that when you go from church to church. You listen to the announcements with an out-of-body-experience knowing that “this isn’t really your life.” The desire to be accepted, belong and the desire to talk and share and laugh and cry in community I think is a real force that needs to be satisfied.

So after twenty or so churches we have found a new home. Well,  not a “home home” but at least a “foster home” until our real church parents find us. It’s mid-sized, close by and has an amazing teacher (which says a lot for me). They have a terrific campus and a wonderful worship leader.  I’d say more, but then you’d want to go there too and I like to keep things underground for a while.

Hopefully finding community at church will abide my desire to belong at work and I can relax a little.

I suppose I was worried all this time that if I found a place to belong, eventually I would have to remove myself from it. I’ll have to say ‘goodbye’ to everyone at work and the closer we get to church friends the harder it will be to say ‘goodbye’ to them as well. Community has its costs.  But now, after having not been in community for so long, I think the distant protection thing I was doing, hurts more.

It hurts more to be on the outside than it does to say goodbye.

It hurts more to be alone.

One last thing, and don’t get me wrong – this new church isn’t so great that they reached out to us and welcomed us in. I still don’t think ANY church we have visited in all of this time has been exceedingly welcoming. So it wasn’t the hospitality that made us feel at home. Which is sad – because it should be. No, we are finding a home here out of a sense of tiredness and urgency. But it reminds me all the more how important it is to reach out to the guests among us.

So many verses in the bible talk about how to treat guests, the traveler and the stranger amongst us. I think we forget that we’re not a community unless there is a friend on our right and on our left.

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photo credit: The Cleveland Kid

So it has been six months since my wife and I moved out of our house and almost ten months that I have been without a calling. I scan the various resources I have almost daily looking for a church to call home and to date I have applied to almost one hundred churches across the United States.

Recently, I ran across an article from USA Today on the Protestant Job Market and that added fuel to something that has been mulling around inside of me for a while.

Consider this: There is a pastor who lives in my area who happens to know my situation and he knows “a little bit” about me.  He, like me, recently stepped out in faith and began looking for a new calling and within months – landed a sweet job. This same guy has made the comment to my wife and a few others that my problem is that…I don’t “market myself well.”

That phrase has been ringing in my ears this past month.

“David doesn’t market himself well.”

So that makes me ask the question… how should I be marketing myself? This isn’t a hypothetical question and I don’t have some poignant life lesson to tag on to the back end of this, I am generally curious, is there something else I should be doing?

I am ordained with my denomination and my peers know I am out of work and they toss my name into “the hat” when Jobs in my denomination become available.

I am also registered with ABC.USA and my profile is available to be downloaded by any potential Baptist churches across the United States.

I visit all the local church staffing websites and my online resume can be downloaded from at least ten of those sites including secular sites like Simply Hired and Monster.

I use my Facebook profile, Twitter account as well as my dot.com to promote myself.

I have business cards.

It’s true I am not going to “meet and greets” like conventions or local pastor bars looking to make connections. I wanted to go to Catalyst West Coast this last time around, but could not afford to go.  And no, I don’t make friends with the powerful or popular pastors looking to get in on the “inside track” either.

I’m just sort of …. me.

I guess I was counting on God to find the right place for me and my family, and I wasn’t planning on forcing God’s hand in the process. I am not worried about an opportunity  ”passing me by,” because if it was meant to be – then it will happen.

Maybe this is a little bit of the predestinationalist in me coming out, but I hope that God has this all figured out and that I can relax a little.

Matthew 6:25-34

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? …O you of little faith. So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

But I would really like to hear your opinion… what else should I be doing? How would you “market yourself” in this economy? Am I not worried enough?

Should I run off another 500 business cards? Should I get a second dot.com that points to this one? Should I be making short sermon vignettes on youtube? Should I make a spinning arrow sign and stand on street corners or buy an inflatable-air-dancing-tube-thing that stands out in front of my house?

Think of me frantically coming up with more ideas like these as your write your response.

photo credit: bfhoyt

Sometimes I will be at D land and I will see a guy and I will think to myself, “Hey, I have that same shirt… where is it?” and then I remember, “Oh yea… it’s in a box.”

Whenever my Son asks where his drum set is, we always tell him, “it’s in a box.”

Our whole life is in boxes right now.

When we moved in January, everything went into paid storage while a few remaining boxes went with us to my Mother in law’s house. Since then my wife and I have slept on an inflatable air mattress and my son has slept on the floor on a toddler mattress in the same room. The three of us each have a few boxes of clothes and possessions.  My son has a single box of toys and I have a single box of books. In fact, out of the 3 of us – my wife probably brought the least of her possessions with her.

We had packed for a three to four month stint, much like the castaways thought they would be on a three hour tour.

So during this time of transition, it has been interesting to see what we have needed, and what we have not – and also how easy it is to begin accumulating more stuff.

But I guess it’s weirder to think that we own “other” stuff, furniture a tv, a couch (more clothes) that we have not seen or used in half a year now. It makes me wonder… why do have all that stuff anyway? I mean sure, we have that stuff because currently we share my Mother in law’s possessions – she has that stuff and that’s how we get by now – but it’s interesting how life has made us all hoarders of “individual” possessions.

Nobody gathers down at the barber shop anymore to hear the town gossip, we all own our own televisions, so now we just watch TMZ.

We no longer go down to the Rutherford’s house to listen to the Mystery Hour on their radio, because now everyone has their own radio (even though now we all stream Hulu or Pandora).

I would argue that even meals with extended family is getting more and more of a lost practice (especially home cooked ones).

When do we naturally break into community in our week? When we go to work? The coffee shop? Church?

But how many of us work from home or own our own business? How inexpensive is it to brew delicious Starbucks coffee from home? And how simple is it to even download church services to our ipod?

You’re probably too young to remember the movie The Net with Sandra Bullock. It was a movie made in 1995 about a woman who lived on the internet, and only had “web chat” friends, subsequently her whole life was “deleted” and she quickly found out that nobody in “real life” knew who she was. Remember, this is back before “identity theft” and this was basically a “horror movie” about one author’s projected dangers of the internet.

I think the reality today is, of course you can’t have your whole life “deleted” by “the man” of “the feds,” but the irony is we delete our own lives by not living in community.

The irony is I miss all of my stuff that is stuck in a box somewhere, stuck in a warehouse, stuck far away. But the bigger box was the box I was always living in – the one that kept me in my own house, with my own television and my own books and my own barbecue.  This same box kept me from knowing the people who lived next door to me for years. This same box had me believing that I didn’t know any lost people because I worked for a church. Or the box that told me that I was a boring person anyway, so why would anyone want to get to know me.

In 2008 Jim Carrey made a movie called Yes Man, and I think the premise of this new movie would have solved Sandra Bullock’s identity theft problem. By saying “Yes” to each new opportunity, Jim’s character is forced out of his box and out into the world, where he has new experiences and meets new people.

Imagine that, meeting new people.

“We should be inviting more friends to church,” says the pastor.

“All my friends are here,” thinks the church.

Well, I guess there is nobody left to save.

Luke 10

The Lord appointed seventy-two disciples and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and every place where he was about to go. Jesus told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go!”

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photo credit: House Of Sims

I know this is a lame update from me, but I have been working crazy hours at “the Park” and when I come home – I just crash.

I have long forgotten what working a real job is like.

• having to get to work on time
• having a bazillion supervisors
• working different hours and days each week
• the employees with seniority treating you like dirt
• knowing you could get fired at any moment for no reason
• and always feeling like you don’t know what’s going on.

I love my job and I am having a ton of fun, but at the same time I am still waiting and wanting so much more. My daily prayer is that the Lord can use me somehow in someway. How can I bring God’s Kingdom to the Magic Kingdom? How can I bring a little bit of reality to Fantasy land?

photo credit: amsfrank

What are your thoughts behind the Pastoral bookshelf? I mean, what am I supposed to do with all of my theology and church books? Sure, I read them, but afterwards they go up on my shelf to sit.

Once in a while I will go back and pull references for either a lesson, or a sermon idea, but for the most part my books just gather dust.

One day, when I have an office in a church, my books will sit proudly behind my desk. I only think that, because that is what I see in other pastor’s offices. I’m sure the idea is that you want people to come into your office and say, “Wow, this guy has read a lot of books.”

But how confident would you feel if your pastor had three huge mahogany bookshelves and they were all empty save for one book on its side?

The thing is, the books that I love have great ideas and have helped shape my theology, but surely only snippets and sound bites still resonate within me. From just reading a book a single time, I have not been able to commit to memory anything that that they said, or truly absorb the mass of their content.

So how much different are they than say the latest Steven King novel?

I have been toying with the idea of going back to a few of them. I want to read the books that have meant the most to me at least one more time; and hopefully this time I will either discover if the book really did have meaning to me, or if it was just some flash in the pan.

But let’s go back to that earlier idea of the one lone book on the bookshelf…

I mean what if that book was the bible – how would that speak to you as a disciple?

Maybe it says your pastor took the time to get to know and read the one book that really matters.

Isn’t the bible the book that all other books are about?

That’s the other thing that bugs me; sometimes I feel like I read “books” more than I read the bible. I usually justify it by saying that I have read a lot of the bible and that I am now “studying” the bible by reading the commentaries of others… but I’d much rather be a person who knows how Paul interpreted Christ than say… Brian McLaren (no offence, Brian).

Maybe for me, my books aren’t just commentary but assurances that my ideas and discoveries aren’t just my own. Perhaps if I only read the bible, and never heard a thought from an outside source, how I would I know if my ideas were sound? When I read Brian McLaren I will think to myself, ‘yea, that’s what I believe as well’ so then both reader and author have united behind the idea.

Maybe the bookshelf in my office does not just represent the books I have read, but also the men and women who share my theology.

And I guess my last thought is about the complaint that ‘Pastors steal all their ideas from books.’ This is the idea that the Pastoral bookshelf becomes more a source of inspiration than listening to the Holy Spirit. I’ve heard that complaint, because I have also thought it. And I suppose it could be true, but it’s really not my place to judge is it?

I would like to think that the Holy Spirit speaks through the authors I read as well as the bible as well as through friends and prayer. Truth be told, a Pastor steals all their ideas from the Spirit and from the word of God. After all, “there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9-14)

And while we are talking about it, I’d love to see your bookshelf. The comment section would be a great place to post links to your bookshelf pictures (hint hint).

photo credit: Bob B. Brown

So way back when I first started my story, I told you that I applied to a bunch of places for the holidays but nobody responded.  Well a month ago in June, I got a call from someone who wanted to hire me – not a church,  but rather a kingdom of another sort…. a magic Kingdom.

I got a call from Disneyland.

What happened was, my wife and I were both annual passholders to D-land and we were walking through the park one day over in Tomorrowland (how ironic) and we were talking about employment, the job front and how we would make ends meet for the next few months. Our passes were going to expire shortly and soon we would not be able to enjoy a lot of “creature comforts” that we had always taken for granted in the past.

“I guess you could always get a job here,” my wife commented. “Then we could still get into the park and you’d be able to say that you worked here and fulfill a life long dream.”

It’s true, I had always wanted to work in the park, more specifically the Jungle Cruise. I don’t know what it is, perhaps it’s just the idea of being able to hold a microphone and crack wise to strangers, maybe it was the costume, or maybe I have always wanted to be a boat captain.. who knows?

Either way, back in April, when NOBODY else had called or contacted me, I got a call from the park to come in for an interview. I put on my best “business casual” outfit and got there fifteen minutes early.

My group first consisted of about 4 or 5 people, we watched an orientation video that listed some of the park’s history and what was expected of us.. things like…

• we will practice good hair care and hygiene
• we will come to work on time
• we will join a union

We were then asked to wait again in the lobby for a “one on one” interview and at that point I half expected some of the people to leave. I wondered if that video was D-land’s way of saying… “Hey, this is how it is, if you don’t like it, now is a good time to part company.” I thought about how different that was from the church today. When we try to attracted new people to our communities, it seems that the church makes the sacrifices and we make the changes.

You don’t like our music? We will try something hipper.

You don’t like our children’s program, we’ll throw more money at it.

You don’t like our pastor, we’ll hire someone younger, edgier, taller, funnier, whatever you want!

I think I would like to be part of a church that begins like D-land began with me. “This is how we are, and this is what we expect of you.” Because a church does have expectations doesn’t it? So why do we always dance around those topics instead of holding our people to a higher standard?

• We expect members to tithe
• We expect members to serve
• We expect members to evangelize
• We expect members to be involved in community

“This is what we expect of you as a member,” I would say.  ”A representative will be with you shortly.”

One of the weird things about being back out in the waiting room at D-land was watching random people walk in and ask for a job – they were not told to wait for several months (like I did) no, they were walked in with a smile and sat down right next to me.

People who had just walked in off the street in jeans and t-shirts were given a job interview that same day. Sitting there sweating in my pressed slacks and dress shoes I was a little put off. “What the?” I waited months for this job, I was called, I got dressed up, I made a special trip just to be here….

But again, the thing that gives “D” the right to do whatever they want, is that… well they can.

In Matthew 20, Jesus tells a similar story about an employer who hires workers all day long, and in the end the workers hired first and who have worked the longest, get the same days pay as those who were hired last.

“Hey, what gives?” shouts the disgruntled employees. “What gives you the right?”

Jesus explains, “Friend, haven’t I been fair to you? Didn’t you agree to work for a wage before you were hired? And don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Take you pay and go home.”

If “D” needs to hire people, what do I care that I was waiting longer? Why am I concerned about whether or not my brother gets a job anyway? Don’t I really only care that I get one?

In the end I was ushered into a tiny office by a smiling (well groomed) cast member who asked me some run of the mill questions..

“Why do you want to work for D-land?”

“Describe a time when you gave good customer service.”

“Describe a time you had a conflict at work and how you resolved it.”

She then said she had a job opening running attractions in Fantasyland… again, my heart sank. The Jungle Cruise is in Adventureland. I wanted this new job to be just that… a new adventure. Besides Fantasyland was where all the kiddie rides were.

• Peter Pan
• Story Book
• Alice
• Snow White
• the Carosel

Was this going to be fun? At this point, I didn’t know. I told the smiling well groomed lady, “that would be great” and smiled back.

“Well let me be the first,” she extended her hand “to welcome you to the D-land resort.”

That was the beginning of how I began working for Disneyland.

I am excited to see how my role as a Pastor plays into this, I am praying God is guiding me towards something here, a person, a job, a role to play, I don’t know at this point.

A door opened (that sounds so cliché) and I walked through it.

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I really don’t know why I am putting this up today, or what significance it has. It has significance to me and my family, so I am hoping it will for you as well. A long time ago when I was still a boy, my family’s church adopted a Vietnamese family who came over to America after the war. It was the church’s intention to help the family adjust to life in America and to be a strong Christian influence in their lives.

Through a series of events, the “Vietnamese family Project” was abandoned, but my parents continued to be their friends; so much so that I even remember family vacations that included the Nguyens. They had two boys (as did my parents) and a live-in Grandmother and they always had the best food.

As my parent’s children got older, we lost touch with the Nguyens and their two boys, but my Dad has always stayed in touch; even through recent marriages and the death of the Father – Locke.

Now an empty nester, the Mother of the family, Ha, recently wrote a letter to my Dad and he forwarded the letter to me. In the letter, (which I am enclosing for you to read) Ha tells my Dad why she is relinquishing all her worldly possessions and becoming a Buddhist nun.

And I guess I am writing this because.. well, you don’t always reach people for Christ. They don’t all become Christians. Not every person you pray for, have hour discussions with, adopt and bring into your life will one day say the sinner’s prayer.  There is no magic to evangelism or even being the best example you can be.. sometimes it never happens. And this isn’t to say that it’s beyond all hope – certainly anything can happen and God does use all things for his glory – for certain.

I just… well, wanted you to read the letter of a lady who has been the recipient of an entire Church’s outreach program, been adopted alongside my own brother and I as family members, been within the influence of a strong Christian family for years and years… and who still chose something other than Jesus.

Charles –

I became a Buddhist nun since last December, right after my son’s wedding. To become a nun, I have to partake in a ceremony where I take vows to leave my family, not to possess wealth, to be a vegetarian, to have only 3 robes (and 4 pairs of pajamas)  I am not allowed to wear makeup and I will have to live in the monastery (except for a few ladies who are over 62 and who will have the option to live at home). I must agree to keep the 10 precepts including rules not to kill, not to Steal, not to Lie, not to have sexual conduct, not to drink alcohol, and not to participate in any entertainment; and of course my hair must be SHAVED OFF!

I am very happy. I lost 10 lbs thanks to a very strict schedule (like getting up at 3am, eating only breakfast and lunch, and no more food until the next day.)

Why do I sacrifice worldly pleasures for the ascetic lifestyle? I have nothing to be depressed about. I just earnestly want to look for the truth; and the answers to the questions: Who am I really? Where do I come from? And where do I go when I die?

I remember you and I used to discuss religion, and you tried to explain the Bible to me. Do you remember? I guess I am the type of person who can’t merely take a leap of blind faith. I have to understand everything, accept and experience it.  You always told me that Jesus was in us, and not necessarily in the church buildings.  I agree, but can you see exactly where Jesus is in you?

Well, I can see Jesus in me now.  But, I can only learn and experience him through Buddhism and meditation. Buddhism answers all of my questions so well and so scientifically; and I believe that I now have the detailed map to go home. I just have to start my journey, it will be a very, very long journey, but I don’t mind, as long as I know that I am heading home, no more being astray. I am very happy and peaceful.

Attention become aware of see

The more I see, the more I become aware of all the things I observe.

Ha

One last thought from me.

Sometimes when I tell the story of how I became a pastor, I actually include a piece about the Nguyens. I remember driving in their backseat on a double family outing and for some reason I was in the backseat of their car.  The eldest son and I were in the backseat and not to surprisingly we were sharing the various stories of our faith. After a long and winding story (or argument I can’t remember) from me, Ha turned back from the front seat and said, “David you should become a pastor.”

This was way back when I still wanted to be Spiderman or James Bond when I grew up – “pastor” was not even on my radar until that day. But she was one of two very important people who cast me off on this journey. And so even regardless of the choices she is making for her own life, I owe her my deepest thanks for the nudge that she gave to me.

I love the movie Office Space….well, who doesn’t? It’s been a cult-classic since 1999. The struggle of the blue collar office worker who adopts an “I don’t care” attitude towards his company and infects his corporation with a Macintosh virus.

Is that even possible?

There are so many great lines from the movie; and everyone has their favorite.

“You’ve been missing a lot of work lately…” “Well I wouldn’t say I was missing it….”

I know people who have been Lumburgh (the coffee drinking boss) for Halloween. And even thought it didn’t exist before the movie, Swingline now carries red staplers as part of their inventory.

Every once in a while the show comes on TV and it’s always entertaining to sit and watch a of couple scenes. How do you beat a cast like Jennifer Anitson, John McGinley (Perry from Scrubs) and Diedrich Bader?

Anyway…

So the movie got me thinking the other day, Office Space is very funny, but I bet a lot of people think about the church that way. I mean, feeling unchallenged, unmotivated, just “phoning it in.” If I got called into the board room, what would I tell the “Bob’s” if they questioned me?

“I’d say in a given Sunday I probably do about 15 minutes of real, actual worship.”

And if we were to question people as they passed by us on the way out of service, would they have a hard time answering, “Exactly what is it that you do here?”

For some of us it’s been our tradition, (or habit) for so long that I am sure if without challenge and effort, could easily feel like going to “work.”

But the surprising thing of the movie, is that the main character, Peter Gibbons, decides that from now on, he’s just “not going to go.”

He’s not going to quit mind you….

He’s just not going to go in anymore.

So later on when he’s questioned by a team of efficiency experts, Peter is open and honest; he’s candid about his work flow, his bosses, and what is asked of him… and in a way, he becomes more confident in all respects.

He asks Joanna on a date

He takes down his cubicle walls… with a drill.

You could almost say his “outlook” has totally changed.  The more you think about it, there are so many great parallels.

Maybe you are sick and tired of the way you have played church your whole life? You’re asking if this all that there is; all that you can look forward to?

Would your church care if one day….you decided not to go anymore?

And what would change if you decided to be honest about how you felt? What would happen if you were unafraid? What walls need to come down there?

Granted, what Peter did was outside the norm, and some of the things that he did were slightly illegal. It is a movie after all…..meant to entertain and make us laugh.

And no, this is not another “feel bad because you don’t do enough in your church” article, (I hate those). I’m just looking down the road a bit and feeling like I am probably going to sit in this pew for another forty some odd years (God willing) and I don’t know how I feel about that. I don’t want to become like Peter to the point where one day I wake up and I simply don’t want to go anymore.

So hopefully the answer lies somewhere in the middle; I don’t want to not care about attending church, but maybe I need to stop caring about some other things….maybe it’s what people think, or what people expect of me, or what limitations I feel that I have.

Maybe once I become more uninhibited, and once I let go…worship will become more… well, just MORE.

I mean, we should think this out first, don’t you think? Not make any rash decisions.

First I’m gonna go out to dinner, and then I’m gonna go back to my apartment and watch kung fu. Do you ever watch kung fu?

I love kung fu.

Inspired by Adam Smith’s blog this morning… “This post will probably make me seem really OCD, but I want/like things a certain way.”

• I have to sleep on the left side of the bed, regardless of how the bed is turned or facing
• I have to be the last person to check locks on cars and houses – and if someone asks, “Is it locked?” I check again even if I am sure.
• Everything I own needs to be in a “box” and every file on my computer needs to be in a “folder.” I don’t like things just lying around.

And if I could change one habit of mine, it would probably the nervous twitch I have of removing my wedding ring, turning it over and replacing it (and my wife would agree).

These little ticks and compulsions help bring comfort through the day, even the things that I do without thinking about it, for some reason they ease my nerves. If I don’t do them.. I feel it.

It’s weird isn’t it?

Too bad I can’t have those same impulses when I forget to pray. Sometimes I can go the whole day, lay down in bed and then realize…. I didn’t pray all day.

Why isn’t that a habit yet?

How come my body doesn’t ache when I forget to talk to God?

Instead I have to create reminders for myself in the form of books, prayer beads and sometimes even calendar or email reminders. To replace a natural impulse, I have to in essence tie a string around my finger to help me remember.

I wonder how God feels about that? I’d be hurt… It’s how my wife feels that I can’t remember her birthday or Mother’s Day (yes, I forgot this year). And it’s certainly not because I don’t love her, or that she is not important to me… but for some reason – there are important things in my life – that slip my mind.

Does God, like my wife, get hurt when I forget?

If I am made in his image, does that include feelings like neglect?

Instead of being a man of impulsion, i’d rather be a man of prayer.

Today’s Monday morning question: Who is Satan?

In my theology, I always come back to the devil; and it’s not because I am obsessed or anything, rather I get bent out of shape whenever I hear pastors furthering the idea that the devil (or Satan) has “power” or “control” or is involved in your personal life ruining your marriage or giving you acne.

Because I would argue that we were all taught the right things about God, but we were not taught the right things about Satan; and sometimes these two “teachings” butt heads and don’t make sense.

Who is control of all things?

God

Who is in control of evil?

(be careful before you answer)

True, there is a lot in scripture that concerns the devil, but there is also a lot of “stuff we say” that has nothing to do with the devil. We just read into verses and “certain words” and just ascribe the devil to them. This is bad bible study and that makes bad theology.

The Serpent Confusion

I will go so far as to go out of my way to NOT SAY that Eve was tempted by the devil. Why? Because the bible doesn’t say it. It says “the serpant.” Not once does the bible EVER say that Eve was temped by Satan. In fact, one of the main authors of scripture to write about the devil is Paul and when Paul retells the Genesis story he says,

2 Corinthians 11:3
But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

I have to believe if he thought the serpent was the devil, he would have said so. In fact the next time we see an animal talking in scripture is Balaam’s “donkey.”  And the bible says in Numbers 22:28 that “the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth.”

Check your own theology before you go and ascribe power and will to the devil.  Who has control over creation? God or the devil?

The name Lucifer

Are you Catholic? Do you only read the King James bible? Can we all agree to stop using this word? Lucifer is a Latin word that means “light bearer.” 2 Corinthians 11:14 says that Satan “masquerades as an angel of light” but that costume is not his name. The bible does not call him Lucifer… the bible isn’t written in Latin… let’s not ascribe non-biblical titles to him. You can call him Mr. Poopy Pants… but please don’t say, “his real name is Lucifer.”

In Hebrew he is called haSatan (meaning ‘the challenger) and in Greek he is diablos (accuser) so at BEST his name implies he is a prosecuting attorney.

The Problem with “Day Star”

Another reason for this is the mis-translation of Isaiah 14. (I don’t believe this passage is about the devil, it says very clearly it is a passage about the King of Babylon). Again this is an example of bible scholars making this about something that the bible does not say. Ascribing the term “day star” to Satan stands you on dangerous ground when you consider these verses that are talking about Jesus.

2Pet 1:19

And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

Rev 2:28

I will also give him the morning star.

Rev 22:16

“I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

Listen to your own words when you sing All Hail King Jesus:

All hail King Jesus
All hail Emmanuel
King of Kings
Lord of Lords
Bright Morning Star
And throughout eternity
I’ll sing Your Praises
And I’ll reign with You throughout eternity.

Who is the bright morning star you are singing about?

The Devil as God’s arch-nemesis

In fact the Jewish understanding of the devil is far different from the Christian view (because they don’t have the new testament). But let me argue for their side for just a second… I would say that a typical Hebrew knows their Old Testament (torah) pretty well wouldn’t you? And the Old Testament descriptions of the devil don’t paint him out to be the devil Christians fear. Listen to how one Hebrew blogger writes it.

Judaism does not believe in the devil, but we do believe in Satan (who more properly should be called “the Satan”). As this demonstrates, the Jewish view of Satan is very different than the Christian one. Here’s a summary of the Jewish view. The word satan means challenger. With the leading ha- to make haSatan, it refers to /the/ challenger. This describes Satan as the angel who is the embodiment of man’s challenges. Satan works for G-d. His job is to make choosing good over evil enough of a challenge so that it can be a meaningful choice. Contrast this to Christianity, which sees Satan as God’s opponent. In Jewish thought, the idea that there exists anything capable of setting itself up as God’s opponent would be considered overly polytheistic–you are setting up the devil to be a god or demigod.

In other words; Christians today set Satan up to be this “force” that is out of control. But again, check your own logical theology.  Do you honestly believe something could exist that runs rampant in God’s creation without His consent or control? You either believe God is in charge and control of all things and that His will is done “one earth as it is in heaven” or you don’t. You can’t have it both ways.

The Devil controls demons or that the Angels are now demons

Where is this in scripture? I can’t find it.

Revelation 12:9 and Matthew 25:41 say that hell is for the devil and his “angels.” Not the devil and his demons. In fact if you look at scripture, it’s God who sends demons (1 Samuel 16) and God who tempts people to do evil (2 Samuel 24) and God who tells Satan what to do (Job 1-2; Zechariah 3:1-7).

Doesn’t that support the idea that God is in control of all things?

Who is in control of evil?

The idea that the Devil was made as an angel who later “rebelled,” (which would mean he sinned and has a will) or that some angels “crossed over” and joined the devil and became demons implies that God creates junk. How did God make angels “with wills” who could rebel against him? Satan and these angels would have to be the dumbest creations God ever made. Doesn’t it make more sense that God “made” these beings “this way?”

We want to make it the fault of the creation because we can’t understand why God would make a being whose purpose is to lie and deceive… but for me it makes less sense that a “beautiful angel” left the presence of God to become a “villain.”

Check your own theology. God made all of creation and he is in control of all of his creation – the Devil and his angels are created beings.

Do you honestly believe if the devil was a thorn in His side.. or was ruining His plans… God would keep him around? Satan’s purpose is not to “keep you out of heaven” or to give your computer a virus. The devil can only do what God allows him to do.

God is in control of all things.

This is what we mean when we say “God is sovereign.”  1, 2

To be sure, I am a novice theologian. I have not devoted enough time to this study, this is only my beginning work, but I would love to hear your thoughts or where you think I have it wrong.